Rare photo found!

Scott "found" this rare photo of himself playing with Bill Monroe! We have tried to verify the authenticity of this photo, but so far Bill Monroe has not returned any of our phone calls!

Scott: Dave Toler doesn't exist!

"Yes it's true, Dave Toler does not exist. I made him up and I'm sorry. I know he's stupid and shallow but that is all I could come up with on short notice," said Scott Toler, the former twin brother of Dave.

Dave's wife and kids were at home, stunned by the news that Dave was really a figment of Scott's imagination.

"No wonder he wouldn't try yoga and preferred squirrels for company," said his wife of 15 years. "It's all making sense now," Dave's two sons could not comment as they were busy duct-taping a hamster to a passing neighbor.

We found Dave in the backyard applying his blowtorch to a pile of polyester pants. "Well, non-existance, I can live with that," he said thoughtfully. "I'm not really angry at my mother, but I wish she would stop calling me, "my pathetic, ignoramus, schnook" while pelting me with fish sticks!"

Cut Ups at the Shriners

It's time once again, for the Cascade Cut Ups to play for those really fun people, The Shriners. The gig will be held at one of the big gatherings of Shriners and there will be many men wearing funny hats. But, do not laugh at the men with the funny hats, because they might be funny to you but let me tell you, they take this Shriner stuff pretty seriously. So go ahead, make jokes! Laugh at someone else's expense! Live off the suffering of others! Go ahead, hate man kind as we know it! See if I care!

Old photos

Check out the Lost Photos from 1995 of the Cut Ups performing at the old Union Tavern. Sadly the tavern is no longer there, torn down to make room for the new library. But these photos, lost for years have resurfaced and are now here for your viewing pleasure!

Cut Ups hire top Financial Advisor!

With tens of dollars at stake "we can't take any chances"

Dave Toler is always fond of saying, "you know, some day we can do some good in the world, with all the money we make, we can really make a difference!" At this point, his brother Scott usually flicks his burning cigarette into Dave's hair, causing a small fire and 3rd degree burns.

The state of the Cut Ups finances became a topic, for no other reason than someone needed a book of matches and didn't have the money to pay for it. It doesn't matter that you can get books of matches almost anywhere for free, or that setting fires with free books of matches is frowned upon, especially amongst people who think they smell smoke when there is no smoke.

Being that as it may, and for a straight fact, no one seemed to mind hiring this new financial consultant. A friend of the Shipley family, the consultant is an expert in his field and will do doubt make a great impact on the band and it's future dealings.

"They earned enough money this year, to buy some napkins," said an unidentified friend of the group. They didn't specify if these napkins were on sale or not or if the Cut Ups actually needed some napkins. Once again, you can pick up piles of free napkins just by walking into any fast food place. They are free for the taking!

Scott buys Lloyd Lore Mandolin!

"A deal of a life time!" says Scott

Scott Toler has only bought two other mandolin's in his life, but over the week end, at a local music festival, he may have scored the deal of his life. Some one sold Scott a genuine Lloyd Lore mandolin, for only $8,743.06!

Scott had this to say: "I couldn't believe he was going to let it go for so cheap. It did look a bit older than I had pictured in my mind. Actually it didn't look anything like what I thought it would be! But I can't let this kind of deal slip by. Of course I'm not going to play it right now, it's just worth too much. I'll be sleeping with it, much to the dismay of my wife."

Cut Ups Play the Pumps and Grinds in Duvall!

A warm summer evening, good coffee, good music. Oh well, two out of three ain't bad!

Well the boys pulled off another successful gig, this time up at the Pumps and Grinds coffee house, way up there in Duvall, Washington. I know, it's hard to believe but it's true.

Now I'm sure you are asking, why isn't there more description of this here? Why is the picture out of focus? Is the band just out of focus? Am I getting blurry vision? Why is there air? There are no answers to these and other questions, so stop with the questions already!

Dave Toler's bass commits suicide!

Jumps off bridge, left note, "you'll never slap me again!"

In a series of shocking events, Dave Toler's stand up bass jumped off the Deception Pass bridge. A note left in the empty canvas bass case, simply said, "You will never slap me again!". Apparently the bass was despondent over the fact that Dave had taken to slapping the bass more frequently.

Dave was out for a walk with the bass on the bridge, when the large fiddle broke away from Dave's grip and made the deadly plunge. Dave's only comment was that he wished he had the dollar bill left inside the bass by brother Scott. This does finally answer the question: does Dave's bass float? The answer: yes, for a while. The bass was last seen near the open sea, frolicking with a group of dolphins.

Dave was rushed away from the scene to the nearest liquor store where he was immediately given an intravenous dose of Budweiser.

When he regained consciousness, Dave sat up and screamed "blow torch please!" No one knows what he meant but he is expected to make a full recovery. Asked if this meant the end of the Cut Ups, Dave said, "Huh?".

Scott receives honorary master degree in Cat Butts

"Cats have a rear end you know," Scott was often fond of saying. "They have to sit on something! Have you ever looked at a cat's butt? I mean really look at it close up! It will change your life! I mean it! I don't really mean most of what I say but this time I really mean it!"

And so speaks an expert, a very learned man, Scott Toler, now with his valuable degree in Cat Butts, his resume will assure him a job in the most powerful institutions found anywhere in eastern Tennessee.